If We Don’t Say "Merry Christmas" the Terrorists Win

The war on Christmas continues this year – the latest casualties, sanity and reason.

The holy movement against the secular progressives, led by Bill O’Reilly of FOX News notoriety, is reinforced in a new book by FOX News cohort John Gibson, and complimented with asinine comments from CNN pundit Glen Beck.

Gibson’s book, subtitled “How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse Than You Thought,” promises to provide concrete evidence of the conspiracy against Christmas. Finally, the evildoers are exposed!

Glen Beck, the radio “personality” who now wastes an hour of TV airtime every day in CNN’s sorry stab at stealing some market-share back from FOX, said that anyone offended by imagery of baby Jesus ought to join al-Qaeda. Tasteless to the core, Beck still has a great descent before reaching the depths where O’reilly dwells.

O’Reilly displayed the unfortunate insensitivity to connect Crate & Barrel’s alleged assault on Christmas with the unrelated tale of six Islamic imams who were handcuffed, humiliated and removed from their flight home following an Islamic-American relations conference in November.

Evidently, Crate & Barrel spokeswoman Betty Kahn was confirmed to have stated store employees “would definitely not say ‘Merry Christmas.’” With a witticism reserved for the repugnant O’Reilly said, “Maybe the imams who got thrown off the plane shop there. I bet you they wouldn't get handcuffed in Crate & Barrel if they started chanting and stuff."

Wow. Why doesn’t O’Reilly just come out and say it? “If we don’t say Merry Christmas the terrorists win."

His fabricated fable was not just utterly improper, but also entirely inaccurate. Kahn was simply saying Crate & Barrel does not require employees to say “Merry Christmas.” She was misquoted while declaring the store takes no position either way.

Somehow O’Reilly’s “No Spin Zone” twisted her words and managed to associate them with fears of terrorism. Interesting – is outright lying considered “spin”?

Where is the threat in this so-called war on Christmas? Are Christians going to convert to Islam because K-Mart might choose to promote the less exclusionary greeting of “Happy Holidays”?

Honestly, shoppers beating each other to grab the latest fad toy dont give a damn what the decorations look like. Meanwhile, Christianity no longer seems to care if its favorite day of the year is reduced to the relevancy of a little needle on some super economic gauge.

These holiday militiamen have themselves forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. The holy celebration should have nothing to do with the shopping experience.

Christmas is supposed to represent the ultimate expression of goodwill to mankind, no more, no less. Those expressing anything other than benevolence in defense of Christmas are entirely off base.

Oh well. In my ultimate expression of goodwill, I wish you all a wonderful holiday season. And for those who want to hit O’Reilly where it really hurts, let’s start a war on St. Patrick’s Day.

Originally published in the Express, December 8, 2006.